i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
