It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
