The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
