idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
