Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize