I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize