You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
