Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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