dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
