Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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