I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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