He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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