I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize
