Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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