I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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