My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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