how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
