I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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