Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
