Me. At least after what I've been through.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
