Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i love accidental penises.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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