it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
