Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
