You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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