haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
