I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
My feet surprised me
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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