So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Randomize
