No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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