chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
