It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Gay?
German.
Pity.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
