Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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