Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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