its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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