Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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