and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
i need to put some appletini on your dick
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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