he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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