I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
