"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
