I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize