there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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