I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
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