I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Randomize
