I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Is her dick bigger than yours?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize