Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize
