i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
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