So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize