Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
