I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
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