Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I fill condoms, not promises.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
