I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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