but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
