I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
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