Fine. I'll sleep in my office
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Randomize
