bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
