This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
vagina is talking i cant
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
