Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Sorry my hands just texted you
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
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