hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
