sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
