theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
