Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
