Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
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