just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Randomize
