He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
