Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Randomize
