like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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