I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
