we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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