If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
