I'm eating all of the evidence.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Randomize
