oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
