Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
