mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
