You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
